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| Colectivo on KK - not a quiet coffee house. |
“I’ve got a story for you,” he said. “It’s about an arranged marriage. Mine.”
But he wanted his wife to tell it. Fine. After a couple weeks we set a day and the three of us met.
He said it was a quiet coffee house. Such a place is hard to find. I was excited. This was not it.
Alcita was born, raised and married in Brazil. While she did all she could do to stay married her husband left her and her two small boys. She’d met an American missionary at her church and got a visa to the US.
She’d stayed here with some Mormon’s for awhile but was happier with some new Baptist friends including Pastor David. They built her family a small sleeping area in the basement of their church. It was crude and very cold. The shower was a garden hose and sprinkler.
Things were going well enough but time was running out on her visa and she could not change her status. Immigration came looking for her and rather than stay illegally she went back to Brazil.
She worked several part time jobs, raised the boys and found time to go to church twice a day. All the while Alcita wanted very much to come back to this land of opportunity. She prayed. She was angry with God and proposed a deal. If He was going to help her get back to America he would have to do it soon or he would have to give her some peace.
One of the missionaries she knew proposed that she make a list of the qualities she was looking for in a husband. She did. Age, health, wealth, loving her boys were on that list.
Meanwhile, God gave her some peace. She carried on.
Now, Thomas and Pastor David had known each other for years through the church. They were in a men’s group together. Thomas had had a couple marriages fail and by now had three teen daughters. Thomas was looking for a wife again but did not trust himself to make a decision.
“Why don’t you marry someone I tell you to marry?” David asked Thomas, one morning at their men’s group. (Fascinating question, right?)
Meanwhile, Alcita and the Baptist pastor, David, stayed in touch over the years. Alcita had been on Pastor David’s mind.
After six weeks of mulling that strange question over, Thomas asked for Alcita’s number in Brazil and called her. He proposed then and there.
Well ... what to do? We have to meet and deal. Thomas found an immigration attorney, filed papers, took out a loan and flew to Brazil. They met. She introduced him to the family. They liked him well enough but they all thought she was crazy. They shared their lists and made concessions. He did not want to get the silent treatment. She did want any yelling and no teasing about her age. He wanted someone that shared his love of music and could properly fold a map. Some things we have to let go of.
It was an arranged marriage. They arranged it together. That is what has made it different from what we normally think of when we hear the phrase.
It began with mindfulness and commitment rather than romance. Their blended families grew together and have now grown on as adults. It’s been 21 years last week.
Thomas was an English and Literacy teacher at MPS, has just finished seminary schooling. He is going into the coaching business; primarily for clergy and their parishioners.
Alcita taught English in Brazil and Portuguese here at UW-Milwaukee on campus and for the Continuing Education department.
She has just finished the Portuguese translation of her 2010 Biblical fiction novel Milcah. You can find it on Amazon by searching this: Milca (Portuguese Edition) by Alcita Ferreira Brown.
They are traveling to Brazil soon to visit family and do a book tour.
......
Nice to meet them both.
This is probably the first story that was proposed as a story and that occurred outside the shuttle. Given that we sat for over an hour there are lovely little details that do not add much to a story but that could add some depth to a book. Near the end of our meeting she told me that she's written this story down already. Right? She's a writer. What was I doing there? Interesting. Different.
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